SENSITIVITY ODE
by Ella Deitz
I cry
in the hotel pool
when I cannot hold my breath
as long as my brother can
when the moon hides
behind a cloud
as I walk around the neighborhood
and I remember how it split and kissed me
when I notice the holes
in the leaves and how the light breathes
I cry
in my dream, as a plane crashes
into the lake where people are singing
in dreams, I am always witnessing disaster with my hands full
in real life, my hand forgets what it’s holding
my groceries fall all over the sidewalk and
I cry
when I think about monetizing my hurt
when I monetize my hurt and don’t make any money
when the hurt continues
I cry doggy-style
when I am supposed to be sexy:
I am transforming
Ella Deitz is a Chicago-based writer and educator from Madison, Wisconsin. She was a First Wave Scholar at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, where she studied Creative Writing and Gender Studies. Ella was the first-place recipient of the Therese Muller Fiction Prize in 2021 and 2022. Her writing appears in Foglifter, Illumination Magazine and the forthcoming RHINO.